Class of 1999 Urged to “Wear Sunscreen”

This article originally appeared in the May, 1999 edition of "Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!!" -

In his commencement address yesterday morning to a packed Mellon Arena, Australian film director Baz Luhrmann gave the University of Pittsburgh’s class of 1999 an urgent piece of advice: Wear sunscreen.

Luhrmann continued, “If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.”

Luhrmann, whose hit films include Muriel’s Wedding and William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet, was invited to address the class by Chancellor Mark A. Nordenberg after Nordenberg allegedly rented Romeo + Juliet on tape from Take 2 Video on Bates Street, in Oakland.

“I was just stopping by for a case of Bass Ale at Mellinger’s [Beer Distributer],” recalled Nordenberg, “when I remembered the wife wanted me to pick up a movie. Well, Blockbuster was just out of the way in North Oakland, so I decided to take a chance of Take 2 Video. Eclectic mix of videos. Fantastic porn section! Oh, Romeo + Juliet was pretty good, too. That Claire Danes is something else! And the wife just LOVES Leo.”

UPMC doctors have corroborated Mr. Luhrmann’s advice as “solid;” however, the rest of the speech was described as having “no basis more reliable than his own meandering experience.”